This is the reality that you are receiving recognition for your worth. When people give you something, part of their joy is watching it be received.
Someone locks eyes with you and offers you sincere praise. Like a meteorite dissolving through its rapid trajectory into the earth’s atmosphere, the compliment evaporates.
When you care, you lock eyes right back and, from your soul, you offer thanks. When you care, you allow the words to be received, to marinate into your bones so that they get captured there.
Perhaps your favorite lipstick is missing, your hoodie isn’t where you left it, or some money is gone. To prevent yourself from saying something that you may later regret, it can be helpful to map out what you’d like to say in advance, says Nathan Males, a psychotherapist and author of “Confronting Friends: Part One” on the “Psych Central” website.
When’s a good time for you?” Pick a place where you can comfortably talk without distraction. Try to be compassionate and don’t assume that her actions were intentional, suggests Rick Hanson, a neuropsychologist and author of “Stay Right When You’re Wronged” on “The Huffington Post” website.
When confronting her, it’s important to speak using “I” statements to express your thoughts and feelings about the situation, says Males. Setting boundaries shows respect for yourself and can help to protect your well-being, says Karen Learn, a psychotherapist and author of “10 Tips for Setting Boundaries and Feeling Better” on the “Psychology Today” website.
When you set boundaries, you are telling your friend that you won’t tolerate being treated a certain way. For instance, you might say, “Stealing from me is not OK, and if it happens again, I won’t be your friend.” Be specific when setting your boundaries and make sure that you mean what you say.
I left a few things on the table in the main area of the house and after the friend had come over the items were missing. When I confronted Mark asking if he had seen my stuff he replied: “Nope, I didn't even know that was there”.
I would like to get the items back, but it isn't the money that bothers me, it's the fact that I can't trust someone I thought to be my friend. He owes my group of friends a collective $600 that he doesn't seem to plan on ever paying back.
If you know someone is a thief, and you continue to invite them over you can't really act surprised when things go missing. It's possible that his presence was merely a coincidence, or maybe you or someone else just misplaced those items and forgot about it.
And if that didn't work out, do bring this matter up casually, not in an accusatory tone, preferably when there's at least one other mutual friend present so that your questions aren't targeting him specifically. And if that didn't work out, and since you still have no concrete proof against him, it would simply be best that you protect yourself from future thefts rather than baseless accuse this friend and cause a rift in your friend circle.
You mention that he owes collectively around $600 to your group of friends and that he shows no signs of paying it back. Again, keep this history in mind and exercise caution next time he's around, or comes asking to borrow money.
He owes my group of friends a collective $600 that he doesn't seem to plan on ever paying back. He is using our friendship for his own gains and I want to get to the bottom of this regardless the outcome, with that in mind, I want to do this in a smart constructive manner.
You accept that he's a thieving mooch, but you like him anyway, so you will keep associating with him, but watch your stuff when he's around. We simply had no hard evidence, and we were afraid that if we are wrong, we lost him as a friend.
The only solution was to catch him red-handed, but we didn't want to risk losing another video game. Eventually, the friendship ended, because we lost interest and trust in him.
A few years ago I received a picture from my best friend, showing friend 2 having a garage sale. So, no matter how much you trust someone, things can take a weird turn.
We did not take any action, because it was too long ago, and we did not want to open a can of arguments. Was lent to your friend though, because at a certain point you had to stop lending money in order to have a chance to get it back.
But if you want to lose your friends (and eventually your lent money) then it would not be wise to confront him being a thief. If you can't, a camera might help because when you really want to confront him with this, make sure you have proof.
(Also make a copy of the footage in case he steals the recording.) This proof also helps you for him not bailing on you, since you can make it clear that you are filing a report with the local police department, if he tries to run away.
Short answer: Sometimes people fear judgement and will stop stealing if given a way to fix it. This won't apply to all people, but the friendship with Mark could possibly be salvaged if he thinks you'll forgive and let go (even if it's done indirectly).
A group of us regularly gathered for Vampire: the Masquerade (role-play game) at my (parents) house. Ages range from 11th grade to recently graduated from high school.
I thanked them as a group for bringing it back (even though they all denied it), and the theft stopped after that. Note some things never came back, but the thief knew I noticed and did stop taking stuff.
I remained friends with everyone for a few years after until we all grew apart with college and jobs and general growing up. He is using our friendship for his own gains and I want to get to the bottom of this regardless the outcome, with that in mind, I want to do this in a smart constructive manner.
Constant stealing is a behavioral symptom of larger problems such as drug addiction or psycho-social disorders. My father was addicted to heroin and would steal out of my house to buy drugs.
If you care about this person then do a little of homework on their family and home life. Either, 1) this is a shock to their family, and they will be concerned and help, or 2) this has been going on forever, and they cut them loose to steal/depend on others.
For my father, the only thing that finally worked was to kick him out on the street. I literally had to remove my own father out of my house, and he slept on the front lawn.
After being on his own completely for a few months he entered a recovery house (not DETOX) with others in the same situation. Members of the house have to work and pay rent, nobody has a free ride.
The camera is the best idea as long as it is not hiding in something he could steal, like a Nanny-cam teddy bear. Think Geek would have these but also trick electronics that would let you home into their location once stolen.
Innocent till proven guilty is a great legal standard but other's experience and your own count more in this situation. The reputation requirement helps protect this question from spam and non-answer activity.