For those who don't know the term, “the friend zone refers to a situation where one individual in a friendship develops more intense feelings and wants to become “more than friends” with the other person. More often than not, the other person is unaware of the friend's desires and quite happy in the friendship-only arrangement.
As a result, the person is “stuck” in the friend zone, unable to transition from just friend to girlfriend or boyfriend. Being stuck in a friendship and wanting more can be a frustrating position.
Sometimes this frustration is sexually motivated, with one friend desiring a physical relationship with the other. On other occasions, the friends are already sexually involved (i.e. friends-with-benefits), but there is a motivation to transition into a “relationship” as a committed girlfriend or boyfriend.
Before I help you get out of the friend zone, we first need to discuss why people get stuck there in the first place. When someone gets stuck in the friend zone, they have entered into an exchange friendship that isn't even.
They gave their friend everything, without making sure they got everything they wanted in return. He takes her places, buys her things, listens to all of her problems, and helps her out of trouble.
Jenny, though, isn't interested because she's having all of her “boyfriend” needs met by Bob, without having to meet his. Sally, however, wants to be in a real relationship with Pat.
Most likely, you are already giving too much and what you really want is for them to balance the scales. Desperate people end up with what others give them, not what they want.
If you are busy with other people, you might just find your friend a bit more eager and motivated for your time and attention. This is called the Ben Franklin Effect (Becker & Landry, 1969).
Always remember to keep an environment of mutual gratitude flowing, too (see here). From those first steps, it is a matter of changing the actual relationship, either by asking directly or indirectly.
In any case, find a way to either directly or indirectly ask for what you want. It is possible to dig out of an uneven, friend zone exchange with a little persuasion and influence.
Just remember to focus on your own worth, don't be desperate, and be willing to walk away. If there’s one thing from the list of relationship woes that can be worse than unrequited love and getting dumped, that would be being condemned to the friend zone.
While unrequited love can be realized later on and getting dumped calls for you to move on with life, getting friend -zoned gets you the worst both. You harbor romantic feelings toward another person, but the latter only sees you as a friend.
Consequently, all your romantic efforts are useless because you reached the end of the relationship line. Toucan profess your love, but she’ll see no romantic undertones in it.
Getting trapped in the friend zone sometimes mean that you lack effort to push the relationship further. The transition from friend to romantic partner happens when one realizes that they want more than just friendship and start to escalate things further by adding more intimacy into the relationship.
It is a fact that compared to boys, girls rarely have trouble finding potential romantic partners. So in order to manage these romantic prospects, she categorizes them in ways where she identifies one as boyfriend material and the unlucky ones condemned into the friend zone pool.
Good news is that now you know how you get friend -zoned, find ways on how to escape the friend zone. If you really want to get out of the friend zone, and if you’ve already decided that she will be worth all the effort in the end, then prepare yourself.
The way out requires you to adapt to different situations, adopt new tactics and ideas, and possibly make difficult decisions. But to be safe, prepare yourself mentally and emotionally, expect that changing her view of you from friend to boyfriend material will not happen in a day.
Be prepared for a long game and recognize that today’s small victory will pay off later on. As mentioned, one possible reason that you are in the friend zone is because you keep sticking to old habits and practices.
Get your head around the romance and fairy tales that tend to orbit around relationships. No, it won’t have the romantic flick ending if you just sit around and wait.
Knowing how to escape the friend zone requires a lot of work. Being more relaxed and casual tends to give the impression of confidence and self-assuredness.
If your initial advances don’t work on her, redirect your energy on another girl. This way, you tickle her competitive nature, and she starts reciprocating your advances in order for her to keep your attention.
While it is convenient to see her while under the screen of common friends, it will get you nowhere out of the friend zone. In the first place, girls interact with people differently in dating and group situations.
One reason why she’s keeping you in the friend zone is because you’re always there showering her with attention and affection. Try to give her the signal by removing all those friendship perks by ceasing communication and avoiding her now and then.
Now and then, touch her in more intimate ways in increasing frequency to let her know that you want to go somewhere other than the friend zone.
Oftentimes, getting friend zoned is the result of miscommunication, or one party failing to read the actions of another. Getting out is doable, but learning how to escape the friend zone is no easy task and requires considerable effort.
“Derek, the ladies ALWAYS dig me at first,” Cody continued, shaking his head. A cultured and athletic hockey aficionado with a great sense of humor.
The way it happens is so fucking simple it’s scary : Acts super nice, like a true “gentleman”… Girl is initially interested.
This is the command center of her desires, feelings and deepest emotions … Because to build strong rapport you must “match” her MAKING modes.
(And the key to avoiding the Friending is through strong rapport.) If toucan identify a woman’s default MAKING elements then toucan instantly hack her mind into thinking she has a deep emotional connection to you.
This is how a woman becomes strongly, instantly and inevitably sexually attracted to YOU. She likes to process information visually (V in the MAKING framework).
And if you’re not familiar with Mind Control, then understand that it is fundamentally different from cookie cutter “Pickup Artist” or “Dating Guru” advice in at least three ways: You’ll seek to enslave a woman emotionally to you, not just “seducing” her.
By the way, using the MAKING technique I’ve shared with you above, Cody told me that Penelope has fallen. You see, it’s not a trivial task to “switch” a woman’s perception of you inside her mind.
Despite what “Pickup Artist” e-books say, there’s no magic bullet toucan use that can immediately propel you out of the friend zone. Having said that, however, there are certain things that toucan do today which can kick-start the process of “reframing” your perception (from friend to boyfriend) in her mind.
With Fractionization, you’ll bring her through an emotional roller coaster where she will experience both happiness and sadness through storytelling. Toucan learn how to use this technique (as well as a slew of other industrial strength Mind Control tactics) in our online Masterclass.