One factor that significantly contributes to our system of self- blame is the failure to recognize our own humanity. Yet, rather than holding space or acknowledging this abiding double-edged aspect of the human condition, we often dwell in the illusion of our perfectionism or, at the very least, our need to be right.
When either we or the world we create around us does not meet this illusory ideal, we are often apt to take on fault and responsibility that is not ours to own. It can stop us from beginning new projects, or, conversely, keep us stuck in our sometimes all-too-comfortable comfort zone, preventing us not only from moving forward, but, in some cases, from actually evolving.
Taking on responsibility that is not our own can not only paralyze us, but drag us down into the inertia of self-devaluation. If we enter into each situation, relationship and moment with that perspective, rather than trying to interject the opposite, we create an opportunity for learning, introspection, self-discovery and, ultimately, personal evolution.
If we abide by our need to be right, those opportunities escape us, and we get stuck expending all our energy trying to shore up the castle walls just as they are crumbling around us. If we have done our due diligence, if we have entered into the moment honestly and with authenticity, then, should things go awry, it will be clear how much of that is ours to own.
He was only 16, a sophomore in high school, when he died from an overdose. I'd noticed some changes in his personality, but I think he only used heroin for about six months.
Josh Olathe was still alive when the ambulance got to our house, and he died on the way to the hospital here in Peoria, Illinois. My husband and I were out of town, so I got a phone call from my other son; he was the one who found him.
I started researching things on the internet, and I found GRASP, a non-profit for people who have lost someone to substance use disorder. I was connected to a woman, Denise, who had also lost her son to an overdose, and she sat on the phone with me for an hour.
I'm an obstetrician, and I get calls all night long, so I'll even get on at 2 A.M. and approve Facebook posts since people are always writing them. When I started in 2012, there were 200 members; now we have thousands because losing someone to drug use is a different kind of loss.
It's a disenfranchised grief; our loved ones are often stigmatized and marginalized, and you hear people say that they brought it on themselves. Tamara now works with GRASP, a non-profit for people who have lost someone to substance use disorder. One of the things I struggled with the most was the guilt and blaming myself.
I was the strict mom who always said, “Don't ever drink, don’t do drugs, nothing.” Since my kids couldn't come to me, I thought maybe I should've been more open. But I’ve discovered that some people threw their kids out on the street, and they died.
We started the JOLT Foundation in his name as well as JOLT Harm Reduction, a local syringe exchange and harm reduction center. I had to go in front of the neighborhood association and local politicians to get people on board.
You’re going to bring drug addicts.” But syringe exchanges are supported by the CDC, by the WHO, by most major medical associations because they save lives. They prevent HIV, hepatitis C. People are more likely to get treatment if they can access a syringe exchange.
We have to get it through people's minds stopping making this a moral or ethical problem. Our center is a place of love and compassion for drug users who are stigmatized, marginalized, and pushed to the side.
They aren’t comfortable in hospitals or doctors’ offices, but they can come here without judgment or shame. We give our naloxone, a medication that can reverse an opioid overdose, and sterile supplies for injection.
I laugh, I smile, I live my life although I miss him every second of every day. He was 16, a sophomore in high school, when he died from an overdose. Everything we're doing wrong with the opioid epidemic is really based in stigma.
With that song it’s like, I’m not the most famous person, I don’t have the paparazzi harassing me every day or something, but I do a lot of things and people notice without me really thinking much about it. I’m not gonna start going around getting my hair blow-dried and putting on make up every day and smiling all the time.
I take full responsibility for it, even though I think a lot of its unfair bullshit, because no one’s putting a gun to my head to do this. There are two types of people in the world, according to Rhonda Britten.
When I was suffering from depression, I spent a lot of time blaming myself for just about everything. I was a victim of my own circumstances, and it certainly kept me feeling low and sad.
No matter what, blaming yourself (or others) for situations keeps you unhappy because you feel like you have no control. A healthier alternative is to go beyond the blame by looking at your life and obstacles as an opportunity to take action.
If you punish yourself or others for mistakes, then these tips can help. Reframe What You Should Do Many of us pressure ourselves to do things we don't want to do.
Trust Yourself Many folks blame themselves after the fact, most often because of regret or denial. That naturally creates a compassionate experience and helps you remove self- blame.
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